Numbnuts Athletic Co. · Est. 1974
Don't peak early.
A conditioning company, est. 1974. One piece of equipment, one method, and a coach who does not repeat himself.
Numbnuts Athletic Co. · Est. 1974
A conditioning company, est. 1974. One piece of equipment, one method, and a coach who does not repeat himself.
The equipment · Issue one
A metered pump in an amber bottle, in a kraft carton. Thirty milliliters, one per locker, built to be carried and forgotten about until it is needed.
Why Numbnuts
No branding, no description, no Coach. What is printed on the carton stays inside the box.
An over-the-counter drug, not a cosmetic and not a gimmick. Benzocaine, made to the FDA monograph by a registered facility.
No regimen, no routine, no subscription. One application before the event. Coach handles the rest.
From the manual
Benzocaine, in a water-soluble base. It is a topical anesthetic — the same family of compound a dentist puts on your gum before the needle. It works where it is applied and nowhere else, which is why the carton says external use only and means it.
This is an over-the-counter drug, not a cosmetic. It is made to an FDA monograph, which is a fixed federal recipe: the active, the strength, the directions and the warnings are set by the government, not by us. That is why the Drug Facts panel reads the way it does, and why you will not find a single performance number anywhere on this site. We are not allowed to make them up, so we don't.
Not a suggestion, and not a ritual. A water-soluble base needs about that long to absorb. Given the five minutes it stays on the jock. Rushed, it does not stay where you put it. This is the whole reason step three exists.
Read and follow the Drug Facts panel on the carton before use. Nothing here is medical advice.
The method
Uncap the bottle. Prime the pump once.
Even coverage. Nothing heroic.
Do not rush step three. Coach is watching.
The shop
Single use. One packet per event.
Five packets and one spray, in kraft board.
“Take care of the jock and the jock takes care of you.”
Coach
Conditioning Division, 14 seasons
“Nobody remembers how you started. They remember how you finished.”
Squad Captain
Class of '74
“The first quarter is not the game. Pace, hold, finish — in that order, every time.”
Field Instruction
Sheet 9
Questions nobody asks out loud
Benzocaine in a water-soluble base. The full formulation, the directions and the Drug Facts panel are printed on the carton. Read them before use.
Because it is five minutes. That is what the five minutes is for. Nobody has ever regretted waiting. Coach has watched a great many people regret not waiting.
No. It ships in a plain outer mailer with no branding and no description on the outside. Your postman learns nothing.
Nothing ships yet. You will be told the date long before you are asked for anything.
The list
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